


Izaya Orihara, On Love

by NobodyInWonderland (orphan_account)



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Izaya is confusing, could be shizaya if you squint, warning for overly pseudo-philosophical rambling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-30 12:11:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6423454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/NobodyInWonderland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Izaya responds to a question posed by Shizuo, at length.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Izaya Orihara, On Love

**Author's Note:**

> I was digging through some of my old writing and stumbled across this thing. While I certainly don't consider it my best work, I decided that, with some minor edits, I'd post it here anyway. Here's to being embarrassed when I realize I've posted this tomorrow.

Love.

Of course I know what the word means! Ha. Don't I say I love humans? I love the faces they show me. I love them unconditionally, if they bore me, if they hate me, despite how petty and mundane they can't help themselves from being. I will never tire of the endless variations of emotions, the faces they show me, the ways they can ruin themselves and others for the sake of the thing they call "good".

I love them when they're broken. Whether it's by my hand or not doesn't matter, right? I want to see every expression, every emotion they have to offer. It's better than what they call "love" - after all, they don't really want to see those they "love" in every state. They run when those they love show them anger or fear, irrationality or contempt. They leave those they say they care about because they don't love everything about them - wouldn't they want to know everything about a person who they truly loved? How they can laugh or smile is fine, but what about how they can hurt? How they can lash out in defense? How they can break?

Ah, but that's not what you're asking, is it? The question was rhetorical. You didn't even give me time to respond, you simply tore in, barked out a rough question, then drove forward in rage, traffic sign in hand. I'm sure you assumed what you wished to assume, yet again. Seriously pathetic, Shizu-chan - when someone asks you a question you should give them time to respond. Notice I didn't say I love all humans - there's one I loathe just as passionately as I love the rest, and that's you. Do I really need to explain it?

Perhaps I do. But then, you won't ever hear my words, will you? If I tried to tell you, you would come roaring after me like you always do. If I e-mailed them to you, you would probably smash the poor, innocent computer - didn't anyone tell you not to shoot the messenger, Shizu-chan? If I wrote them, the paper would be shredded the moment you laid eyes on my handwriting. Besides, I can easily sum it up: you aren't human.

Oh, you can disagree, as I'm sure you would protest anything I said. You think "monster" is just an insult, the same way "louse" or "flea" are your words for me. But I can do better than simple insults, don't you know? I'm simply telling the truth when I use that word. You don't behave like a human. Even leaving aside that absurd strength of yours, you share none of the qualities I told you about. Your emotions are hardly endless; they range from simple crankiness to extreme rage. Your reactions are the most predictable things I've ever encountered. Irrational, yes, unpredictable, no.

But those things are common enough in humans, right? That isn't what makes you inhuman, Shizu-chan. It's because, unlike them, you do not hurt. You do not fear. You do not break. When you hate something, you don't do the sensible thing and run from it - you run toward it, you attack it with every ounce of passion as intense as your strength. You should be lonely, fearful that your strength will break the things you care about - and you do care about some things, obviously - yet it can't be used against you, not like a normal human's. Despite your irrationality - how it pains me to admit it - you're sharp, knowing by simple instinct things that no amount of research should uncover. You should be the most boring person I know, and you simply aren't.

I hate you, Shizu-chan. You get in my way. You don't fit with the humans I love, nothing about you matches them. That's all right, though. I can hate you because you aren't human. You, in all your glorious strength, are a monster. Right?

But if it's your lack of humanity that makes you a monster, then what am I?

**Author's Note:**

> Happy April 1st, everyone.


End file.
